Entertainment

Brand Safe – Latinas Need No Porn Because of These 21 Reasons

Porn? Really? Who cares?

We´re young, powerful, and super confident women. So, that means we already know what we want.

And here´s why porn is simply not on our list, baby! Cause we have waaaay more important things to do in 2019.

So no matter if you´re feeling a bit lonely, super bored or just curious, you can join us now in this sexy ride. Until you can´t take it anymore.

Are you ready to look?

Make yourself comfortable cause this can´t just get any hotter!

Here go the 21 legit reasons latinas don´t need to watch ANY porn. It´s not my fault—thank Instagram instead!

1. He can take us to deep waters in a few seconds…

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Credit: Instagram / @maluma

Maluma will be always right next to you, as long as you don´t mind agrandar el cuarto. Of course, sin contratos, as you can imagineAre you in? People always say there´s plenty of fish in the sea. Let´s ask Maluma if he´s found any out there! Don´t you think he looks pretty focused? And basically pretty?

2. This is what really turns us on!

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Credit: Instagram / @smoothiebowl

This pink explosion of flavor in your mouth makes up the perfect recipe for the climax. It´s somewhat exotic, original and sexy. I´m talking of course about Dragon Fruit or Pitaya—which is full of anti-aging benefits for you! I guess you´ve already created your own smoothie bowl recipe to hook up. Share it, girl! Don´t be so greedy.

3. The only ménage à trois we´re willing to watch

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Credit: Instagram / @true.vampire.blood 

Cause we wanna do bad things with you, and you! If this TV trio doesn´t ring a bell, you go fix it tomorrow. You listen to the opening, learn the lyrics, binge-watch the whole series. The rest is history. Please don´t miss seven glorious years of sexy bites. It’ll leave you wanting more!

4. The true golden shower is here

Credit: Instagram / @nicolethompson1724

From the intimacy of the bedroom to the sensuality of the high-level catwalk, gold probably couldn´t have got any sexier. Thank you glitter!  We couldn´t wait anymore to have you inside us.

5. Doing it outdoors? Seriously?

Credit: Instagram / @delightfultravellers

It always sounds like a super sexy idea, especially if it happens in these beautiful Panama beaches. So, think carefully about the next book you´re gonna read. And when you travel to paradise again, prepare yourself well for the occasion. 

6. Not every package is huge 🙁

Credit: Instagram / @lamarr_renee 

But size does definitely matter when it comes to pizza, right? This delivery guy will certainly guarantee you regular happy endings. And most importantly, with no strings attached. He´ll be busy knocking on other girls´doors so please don´t get too clingy. It´s pointless.

7. This one makes us wanna lie down forever…

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Credit: Instagram / @tatooids 

Cause who doesn´t adore red roses? And a good tattoo? And some finger painting?

8. …while this one makes us melt

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Credit: Instagram / @binothedoodle

Which independent woman needs any porn when there are SO CUTE real dogs? From the color to the pose, he´s just flawless. We feel like getting playful with him ALL the time. And any time.

9. What´s truly keeping us up all night?

Credit: Instagram / @caffeine_andi

Our little dirty secret is just a good cafecito! And if there´s some latte art to it (like here), we´ll give it some extra points. Coffee is the ultimate stimulation menu for ladies. You can learn it like the back of your hand and he´ll never disappoint you!

10. There´s nothing like one of those between your hands

Credit: Instagram / @mileycyrus

What you´re talking about? No, think again. Now yes, you got it, gurl! It´s a delicious, sensual, warm cup of tea! What´s your favorite? Do you prefer doing it alone or with company?

11. And what´s a cup of tea without cake, anyways?

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Credit: Instagram / @receitas_super_faceis

Nothing, of course! Or maybe cake by the ocean is better. Is it a tie? Your call.

12. Real lust

Credit: Instagram / @camila_cabello

Comes in the form of cookies, a cozy house, and extremely random pajamas. We can watch movies all night while talking, and THAT makes us genuinely happy. Who said women are complicated? We´re the simplest creatures ever!

13. Morning glory

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Credit: Instagram / @manuzlgperillat

Is now all about nude headstands. Forget about average selfies in the bathroom. Yoga is the new sexy! Are you already practicing your positions? There are more than you could ever count.

14. That match we´re craving for

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Credit: Instagram / @nail.diy123

Is to finally find the exact same color of nails and sneakers! And show it to the rest of the world first thing. What´s Tinder anyways? All hearts go to nails and outfits.

15. Almost self-explanatory

Credit: Instagram / @meritaapplehead 

But, just in case, remember you must always peel a banana before eating it. Where´s your mind, girl? Are you thinking about sex again? Come on…grow up!

And we´ll obey—if and only if it´s written in our skins. And we´ll only follow Rihanna songs.

16. Please, tell us what to do!

Credit: Instagram / @little_hell_tattoo

17. Hey! We´re busy here!!

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Credit: Instagram / @narryactually 

Reminiscing on him. How manly he looked when he played Alex in Dunkirk (2017)! Do you remember? He almost stole the whole show. A kind invitation to test the waterslide.

And we´d go aaaall the way to get one of these over and over again! (After all, Miami is around the corner.)

18. Mouthgasm was just inevitable…

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Credit: Instagram / @miami.food

19. And eyegasm too!

Cause Shawn Mendes can´t look any hotter in this blue hoodie. Period. We´re packing our bags to Canada right now. Maybe we get lucky enough to find him watching basketball again.

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Credit: Instagram / @shawnmendes

20. Why is she even here?

Credit: Instagram / @jlo

Cause we´re still trying to figure out how she gets that awesome hairstyle—AND booty! Any ideas?

21. And what about Shak?

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Credit: Instagram / @shakira 

Another top celeb who makes us lose sleep cause we never really knew that she could dance like this…

After this, I do hope next time you even consider watching porn, you think twice and go back to this list!

A Geographer Just Created A Digital Map Of Mexico Highlighting Taco Shops And It’s A Thing Of Beauty

Culture

A Geographer Just Created A Digital Map Of Mexico Highlighting Taco Shops And It’s A Thing Of Beauty

featured image credit goes here

One of the biggest changes that the so called digital revolution has brought to our lives is the capacity that today’s computer systems have to process huge amounts of data. Processors today are able to run algorithms that bring together millions of data entries to find trends, cluster groups of similar objects and generate visualizations that can help us understand even the most complex aspects of science and culture. This is known popularly as “big data” and has changed the ways in which governments and companies understand reality and make decisions. For example, before high speed processing mathematicians took literally years to make sense of census data and find correlations between factors such as socioeconomic status, ethnicity, age and literacy levels.

Guess what? This can be done today with a few clicks as computers bring together millions upon millions of data entries and make sense of it all. It all sounds very geeky, but big data is defining how we live our lives, from how traffic lights coordinate to how much tax you gotta pay each year.

So all this geeky, nerdy stuff should be put to good use, o no?

Enter Mexican geographer Baruch Sangines, a true wizard when it comes to generating great data visualizations.

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Credit: @datavizero / Twitter

This young scientist is the Chief Data Scientist at a company called Jetty, and he does some pretty groundbreaking research on pressing social issues such as housing and poverty.

His LinkedIn profile is pretty impressive: “Experience in public and private sector with skills to analyze and visualize data related to: commuting, transit, housing, tourism, migration, security, and urban environment. Expert in territorial analysis and passionate about the cartography and the use of Geographic Information Systems (GIS) to visualize small and big data”. Wow. hold your horses, Einstein! He is a proud graduate of Mexico’s National University and has Master’s Degree on Demographics and Statistics. 

So why did he go viral on Mexican social media in the past few days? We mean, science is sexy but not viral sexy (sadly!). All because of this map:

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Credit: @datavizero / Twitter

No, it is not a visualization of WiFi points in Mexico. No, it is not a rendition of cartel activity. No, it is not a highlight of the areas in which development runs at a faster pace. It is about something much, much more relevant to everyday life in Mexico lindo y querido. Any guesses?

Nothing is more important than a delicious taco when you most need it! 

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Credit: The Splendid Table

Just look at that tortilla, a bit crispy, a bit soft… and that perfectly marinated meat… 

Well, Baruch created a visualization of taco stands in Mexico and nos ponemos de pie ante tal maravilla! 

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Baruch called this visualization Taco Universe, and it showcases all the registered taco stands and shops in the country. We can clearly see that there is a high concentration of taco shrines in the capital Mexico City, and that hotspots like Cancun and Cabo are also highlighted, perhaps thanks to gringo tourism craving fish tacos. The scientists used the database Directorio Estadístico Nacional de Unidades Económicas (Denue) (Statistical National Directory of Economic Units) from the federal census agency INEGI. The map highlights how taco culture is primarily based in the center of the country, with local varieties such as Puebla’s tacos arabes (a shawarma like type) increasing the traffic in that area. 

But it is important to note that many taco stands are not accounted for (and that is not this scientist’s fault).

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Thousands of Mexicans subsist in an informal economy with businesses that are not registered and pay no taxes. Among these businesses, mobile taco stands reign supreme. There are hundreds of taco stands all around the country that are set up informally. Sometimes you can find the most delicious tacos there! You can also find informal vendors selling tacos de canasta, a variety that is literally carried in a basket. This map does not take these informal enterprises into account, even though they are key to Mexico’s taco culinary tradition. 

So you are curious about tacos de canasta now, aren’t you? 

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Well, just look at these crispy, sweaty, fat-rich babes. Tacos de canasta are filled with guisados or stews, or with refried beans. We are almost sure that Baruch did not include them in his map, but we can forgive him for making us crave unos taquitos (we bet you are calling your comadres or compas right now to hit the taco stand) and showing us how Mexico is a country that despite its many challenges still finds time to live up to the old adage: barriga llena, corazon contento. 

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