Entertainment

Brand Safe + Entertainment – 20 Things You’ll Definitely Understand If You Have A Latina Mom

Remember those years of childhood when you slowly started to realize your family wasn’t like your white friend’s families? Now that you’re grown, we present you the tip of the iceberg: just twenty things that made your mom different from the other moms.

You were never allowed to go to the super-chaperoned and G-rated sleepover parties.

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@ds_6x / Twitter

The invites didn’t include background checks on both parents or a letter of recommendation from the priest? Can’t be trusted. You’re staying home and watching a novela with your mama and you’re going to be happy about it.

Your mom cooked for a dozen people, cada noche.

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@ItsZoeKelly / Twitter

You know, just in case your friends came over. Dinner at your house meant that everyone was guilted into eating a second or third helping. We roll our guests out and it is just a part of our culture.

Your mom made you eat dinner at home before going to your friends’ for dinner.

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@LMVLSoCal / Twitter

“We eat dinner as a family.” Super frustrating when your family is the only one that eats past 9 p.m. Plus, mom could never be sure if you were to have real comida at your friend’s house. What if they order pizza? She can’t let her angel be out there eating bad food, can she?

Your mom is tight with God, so her word is basically His.

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@ShroudandTilma / Twitter

Legit. Everything you wanted to do or asked for had to be screened by mom and she was ready with the word of the Lord. If it wasn’t approved by el Papa, good luck.

You can’t bring them anywhere without causing a scene.

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@TuMadreKat / Twitter

At first, you were embarrassed, and now it just makes you smile. You never understood why she would get so angry with people in public until you became an adult. Now you know why she got so upset because some people are just, well, dumb.

You have no fighting chance against a mamá enojada.

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@franchumble_ / Twitter

I mean, we tried. We really tried to stand up for ourselves but it was no use. We know better now and would never try such nonsense. It is still puzzling to us to see our non-Latino friends saying things to their mothers that would have gotten us slapped.

The only thing she needed to say to shut down all logic was this:

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@killer_mugs / Twitter

Oh, and there were no rules. Just whims. Come home at 9 p.m. at any given night and it could be, “Am I supposed to wait up for you?” or “Wow, it’s so early, honey, get out of here. Have fun.”

You’re scarred from what therapists everywhere are calling ’emotional abuse.’

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@heurMaggie / Twitter

Literally, our parents had it so easy. We know better now than to shame or threaten a kid for crying. However, back in the day, it was the best way to get us to quiet down so we didn’t cause scenes in front of her friends.

Your mom will call the police if you miss a call from her.

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@Jayy2bomb / Twitter

Caption: “When I have a missed call from my mom these are the text messages I get”

It’s amazing how quickly they can turn any situation into a kidnapping. Like, we just want to be able to enjoy our lives without being yelled at or threatened.

Don’t expect to get brownie points with compliments.

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@ericagerrcv23 / Twitter

Like, this was supposed to be an adult child bonding moment, mami. Instead, she was able to cut her child down to size like all of our parents do. We can feel the burn radiating through the image.

Your mom was never going to comfort you when you hurt yourself.

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we are mitú

Never. If you got hurt, you better hope it was something that would heal fast and before she noticed. It’s still a mystery to many why getting hurt was something that would make mom so upset.

She saved you from endless illnesses by forcing you to wear socks.

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@papermagazine / Twitter

Nothing will get you sicker than walking around the world barefoot. This is just a fact that everyone knows. Want to get sick? Be barefoot. Want to live to 120? Always wear socks inside.

Your mom never let you experience a chill. Not once in your life.

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GIPHY

That’s why we want to cry when it reaches 60 degrees. No? Just me? Didn’t think so. It is the first step to prevent all preventable and incurable diseases, according to our moms.

Your mom taught you that if it doesn’t burn, it’s not working.

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@SoFabby / Twitter

Doctors will tell you not to put VapoRub in your eyes, but our mamis swear it’s what Jesus used to heal the blind. Okay, that was too far. But this is the most versatile healing cream know the Latino-kind.

She also taught you to never, ever get bored.

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Untitled. Digital Image. Latina. 9 April 2019.

We all learned how to look busy or stressed so that our mom’s wouldn’t tap us to pull hair out of our sister’s clogged drain. Oy.

She taught you that Saturday mornings are not for resting.

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cleaning gif by spongebob squarepants / GIPHY

They’re for aggressively cleaning the house to the tune of whatever cumbia she wants. We’re all our mothers.

Our Latina moms taught us to treat every air plant like her own hijos.

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Janet Marzouca / Facebook

Don’t ask me why, but all my tías come bearing air plants as gifts, whispering under their breath that they stole it from so-and-so’s yard.

Latina moms instill the most vivid imagination in their kids with their own childhood stories.

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mask flirt gif / GIPHY

Yes to La Llorona and yes to all the Latin folklore. But also yes to witnessing UFO sightings above the Empire State Building and being Italian militiamen in past lives?

You probably had no say in your Halloween costume.

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Janet Marzouca / Facebook

At least if you were a girl. I wanted to be Batman but my mom made me be a Flamenco dancer for four years in a row.

You know that this slipper could be used as a weapon at any given moment.

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Pero Like / YouTube

But you also see this slipper and are having a major nostalgia moment, because only your Latina friends wore them. Miss you, the 90s, but glad we’re all grown up!

This is perfectly safe.

READ: 28 Dichos Your Mom Told You That Made You Need Therapy

A Geographer Just Created A Digital Map Of Mexico Highlighting Taco Shops And It’s A Thing Of Beauty

Culture

A Geographer Just Created A Digital Map Of Mexico Highlighting Taco Shops And It’s A Thing Of Beauty

featured image credit goes here

One of the biggest changes that the so called digital revolution has brought to our lives is the capacity that today’s computer systems have to process huge amounts of data. Processors today are able to run algorithms that bring together millions of data entries to find trends, cluster groups of similar objects and generate visualizations that can help us understand even the most complex aspects of science and culture. This is known popularly as “big data” and has changed the ways in which governments and companies understand reality and make decisions. For example, before high speed processing mathematicians took literally years to make sense of census data and find correlations between factors such as socioeconomic status, ethnicity, age and literacy levels.

Guess what? This can be done today with a few clicks as computers bring together millions upon millions of data entries and make sense of it all. It all sounds very geeky, but big data is defining how we live our lives, from how traffic lights coordinate to how much tax you gotta pay each year.

So all this geeky, nerdy stuff should be put to good use, o no?

Enter Mexican geographer Baruch Sangines, a true wizard when it comes to generating great data visualizations.

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Credit: @datavizero / Twitter

This young scientist is the Chief Data Scientist at a company called Jetty, and he does some pretty groundbreaking research on pressing social issues such as housing and poverty.

His LinkedIn profile is pretty impressive: “Experience in public and private sector with skills to analyze and visualize data related to: commuting, transit, housing, tourism, migration, security, and urban environment. Expert in territorial analysis and passionate about the cartography and the use of Geographic Information Systems (GIS) to visualize small and big data”. Wow. hold your horses, Einstein! He is a proud graduate of Mexico’s National University and has Master’s Degree on Demographics and Statistics. 

So why did he go viral on Mexican social media in the past few days? We mean, science is sexy but not viral sexy (sadly!). All because of this map:

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Credit: @datavizero / Twitter

No, it is not a visualization of WiFi points in Mexico. No, it is not a rendition of cartel activity. No, it is not a highlight of the areas in which development runs at a faster pace. It is about something much, much more relevant to everyday life in Mexico lindo y querido. Any guesses?

Nothing is more important than a delicious taco when you most need it! 

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Credit: The Splendid Table

Just look at that tortilla, a bit crispy, a bit soft… and that perfectly marinated meat… 

Well, Baruch created a visualization of taco stands in Mexico and nos ponemos de pie ante tal maravilla! 

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Baruch called this visualization Taco Universe, and it showcases all the registered taco stands and shops in the country. We can clearly see that there is a high concentration of taco shrines in the capital Mexico City, and that hotspots like Cancun and Cabo are also highlighted, perhaps thanks to gringo tourism craving fish tacos. The scientists used the database Directorio Estadístico Nacional de Unidades Económicas (Denue) (Statistical National Directory of Economic Units) from the federal census agency INEGI. The map highlights how taco culture is primarily based in the center of the country, with local varieties such as Puebla’s tacos arabes (a shawarma like type) increasing the traffic in that area. 

But it is important to note that many taco stands are not accounted for (and that is not this scientist’s fault).

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Thousands of Mexicans subsist in an informal economy with businesses that are not registered and pay no taxes. Among these businesses, mobile taco stands reign supreme. There are hundreds of taco stands all around the country that are set up informally. Sometimes you can find the most delicious tacos there! You can also find informal vendors selling tacos de canasta, a variety that is literally carried in a basket. This map does not take these informal enterprises into account, even though they are key to Mexico’s taco culinary tradition. 

So you are curious about tacos de canasta now, aren’t you? 

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Well, just look at these crispy, sweaty, fat-rich babes. Tacos de canasta are filled with guisados or stews, or with refried beans. We are almost sure that Baruch did not include them in his map, but we can forgive him for making us crave unos taquitos (we bet you are calling your comadres or compas right now to hit the taco stand) and showing us how Mexico is a country that despite its many challenges still finds time to live up to the old adage: barriga llena, corazon contento. 

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