Culture

We Asked, And These Are The 14 Weirdest Junk Food Meals You Eat

GUYS. Here we are again, the single most important day of the year. 

Each year, the sun rises and sets on National Junk Food Day and it’s our civic, journalistic duty to get elbow-deep into what you’ve told us are your favorite Latino junk foods. 

Yup, today we’re sinking teeth into the 14 wackiest, más loco creations that humanity has ever inflicted upon its arteries. Get ready for food porn that will have your mouth and eyeballs watering. 

These sickening Dorilocos.

Credit: @Badabun / Facebook

We’re kicking off with this beautiful tray of dorilocos. Why? It’s basically salad.

And by salad we mean little tiny irregular shapes that go everywhere when you dig in. The similarities end there, because, well, it’s all crispy dorito chips, cueritos (pickled pork rinds), jicama, crunchy japonés peanuts… and the occasional gummy bear. 

Dorilocos may look suspiciously similar to a child’s lunchbox that came open in his/her backpack, but don’t be fooled – it’s finger licking good. It’s usually eaten out of a bag of Doritos that is sliced open sideways and topped off with lime juice, chili powder, salsa Valentina and chamoy. 

It’s funky, it’s madness and we live for it. Two of your five a day. 

These hot cheetos carne asada fries – yell that five times fast.

Credit: @CaliforniaCravings / Facebook

Mmm, baby. What’s not to love? This Cali classic hits all the right spots with its oozy, cheesy and fatty setup. Shoestring fries, charred carne asada, guac, sour cream, melted cheese and Cheetos (extra points if they’re flaming hot). 2,000 calories just looks so good on a plate. 

These small but mighty Jicaletas.

Credit: @Lentilbreakdown.com

What’s the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced jicama. On a stick.

Genius takes popsicle form in this crunchy treat that is oh-so-fresca. Jicaleta is, unsurprisingly, the lovechild of the ice lolly, paleta, and the beloved jicama fruit. 

Jicaleta is often sold by street vendors next to trays and trays of powdered sugar in unicorn shades. They may resemble the sand-art stations of your younger years, but don’t be fooled – these sour treats pack a bite. The jicama is first slathered in chamoy syrup, then tossed in a cascade of colored sugar. Oooof.

This fearsome Diablito from the depths of hell.

Credit: @Badabun / Twitter

The name ‘little devil’ does kinda give it away. They’re pica, hell-fire red and may or may not make you cry. 

This spicy cocktail is usually made from crushed lime or mango flavored ice, Taijin, chamoy, lemon and salt. They’re often garnished with a Tama Roca straw, dried fruit – whatever else you like really, as long as it’s outrageous. Evil has never tasted so good. 

This OTT elote from Elotes Asados San Rafael.

Credit: Jose Fernandez / Facebook

Looking a little somewhere between a hunk of corn on the cob and fried chicken, these are not your regular elote fare. These elotes have the dial turned up on extra. 

Maybe it’s coating them in crunchy Dorito crumbs or taki dust, maybe it’s smothering them in chipotle sauce, cheese and carne asada. The one in the photo comes from a little stall called Elotes Asados San Rafael Tamaulipas, Mexico, that has become a local sensation for their outlandish elote creations. They supposedly sell 200 – 300 of their wacky flavors a day. 

This glistening bag of Dorilotes.

Credit: Edgar Zavala / Facebook

Elote in a bag of Doritos chips was always going to be a good idea. Dorilotes is similar to Dorilocos, except that the corn is non-negotiable. This doesn’t really need much explanation, just gaze upon it. Mmmmmm.

These never-to-be-underestimated, pepino locos.

Credit: @Badabun / YouTube

Whoever said cucumbers were mild and meek?

These Mexican pepinos locos are hollowed-out cucumbers that are crusted with chamoy, then stuffed with jicama and tamarind candy and Japanese peanuts. They look like little cups, so it’s no wonder they’re sometimes served with clamato inside. 

These monstrous Sandias Locas.

The distant cousin of the pepino loco, the best bit of the sandia (watermelon) loca is probably its XXL capacity. And that means all the more room for madness – whether it’s fruits, pepino, Tama Roca tamarindo, scoops of ice cream, Corona bottles – whatever floats your boat. Don’t forget the chamoy and Salsaghetti candy. 

This very intriguing Chocodilla de Baby Ruth.

Credit: Pinterest

Guatemalan Taco Bell really outdid itself when they introduced the chocodilla de Baby Ruth a few years back. Whilst it does sound a little like a 4am drunken reaction to an empty pantry, we can also imagine it being really, reaaaally delicious. This flour tortilla is filled with a smushed American candy bar made of peanuts, caramel, milk chocolate-flavored nougat and more chocolate.

Giving the people what they never really asked for, but are for damn sure going to try anyway. 

This lip-smacking chilindrina chicharron.

Credit: @CampecheHoy / Instagram

It takes one hot mess to know one, and these chilindrina chicharrónes are absolutely to die for. It’s a colourful party on top and that’s definitely not pita bread underneath. 

Fried pork skin is used as the base for a mouth-watering mixture of chopped lettuce, sliced avocado, tomatoes, and the cheese, limon and sourcream that tops it all off.

This visual masterpiece that is salchipapas Colombiana.

Credit: @Mr. Full / Facebook

If this bowl isn’t art, we don’t know what is. 

Salchipapas typically involve a lot of thinly sliced pan-fried sausages mixed with a ton of French fries. Throw a savory coleslaw on top, and add in whatever you please to the mix – it could be fried egg, corn, cheese, plantain slices and much more. You’ll usually get a real mix of sauces too – including ketchup, mustard and olive sauce. Just be prepared to get messy

Mr. Full is a restaurant in Barranquilla, Colombia that’s responsible for gigantic trays of salchipapa, and towering piles of other junk food. Go feast your eyes here

This majestic Guacamaya de León. 

Credit: lossaboresdemexico.com

These monsters are said to originate from Guanajuato, Mexico and are a treat to whip up at home. 

The bolillos are toasted so that they’re golden and crispy on the outside, then slices of avocado are added, or smushed on the sides of the bread. It’s then packed with slabs of chicharron pork crackling until breaking point – then all topped off with a delicious spicy salsa. 

These sweet Marquesita darlings.

Credit: CocinaVital.Mx

Is it a crepe? Is it a waffle cone? Nah, it’s an amazing Yucatan street food that’s made from pouring batter into a heating iron, and adding sweet or savory fillings! Take a bite and you could find anything from cajeta and lechera, to ham and cheese inside. 

We dare you to have just one. 

Last but definitely not least… this. Whatever this is:

Credit: @Badbun / Facebook

READ: Latinos Never Do Basic Snacks And These Elotes And Esquites Prove Why They Are The Greatest Snacks

These Latino Snacks Are Spicy, Salty, And Vegan

Culture

These Latino Snacks Are Spicy, Salty, And Vegan

PETA

Making the choice to be vegan doesn’t mean you should live a life of flavorless snacking. Vegan Latinos can tell you many of the tasty snacks we know and love are also vegan friendly. Your mom might call it cochinero, but you can clap back by telling her they’re both green and kind to animals.

Chow down on any of these nine vegan Latino snacks!

1. Takis Fuego and Takis Nitro

CREDIT: Alysse and Kain/Pinterest

Yup. The greatest snack on the planet is also vegan. But, only in the U.S. Takis is other countries may have non-vegan ingredients so make sure to check the nutrition information before ripping into a bag, just to be safe.

2. Tajín

CREDIT: Tajín Company

The plastic on the top of the bottle says “this is not a candy,” but we all know different. We snack on Tajín like candy. We even add it to candy. Hell, we add it to everything! Whether it’s fruit, beer, oysters, ceviche or ice cream, Tajín makes basically everything more delicious! That’s why they invented mini bottles you can carry in your pocket – for necessary on-the-go Tajín-ing.

3. Speaking of candy…

CREDIT: PETA

Every single candy you see here☝? is vegan! Whaaaaat! So when you’re 15 Pulparindos deep and about to top it off with a Pico dumped into a Pelón, you can rest assured you’ve harmed no animals in the process of wrecking your stomach.

4. Speaking of things that are sort of candy and you can also put on candy…

CREDIT: Mexgrocer.com

Chamoy! Again, make sure to check the label because each brand makes their chamoy a little different. But, for the most part, chamoy is a vegan snackers BFF. And really, this opens the door for all sorts of veganized chamoy and Tajín-inclusive snacks! Is your mouth watering yet?

5. Cacahuate Japones

CREDIT: Sabritas/Commercial Mexicana

Aside from the offensive packaging, cacahuates japoneses are probably the best snack on the planet. They’re crunchy, salty and ever so slightly spicy – everything that makes a snack amazing.

5. Papitas Preparadas

CREDIT: TKM

Oh helllll yesssss. Papitas preparadas combine the holy trinity every snack genius knows elevates a snack to a whole other level of yum: hot sauce, Tajín and lime juice. You add that plus salsa Maggi onto potato chips and it’s a flavor rager.

6. Barritas Marinela

CREDIT: Marinela USA

After all that salty goodness, you may need a little dessert to top it all off. Reach for Barritas Marinela in strawberry or pineapple when you’re in the mood for a pastry. Side note: what is it about adding a pair of sunglasses to inanimate that immediately makes them cool AF? That barrita’s lean on the box is ultimate cool guy.

7. Mangonadas

CREDIT: Tracy P./Yelp

One of the best inventions in snackiosity is also vegan. Mangonadas are tangy, salty and mouthwatering gelato-like snacks made out of mango, chamoy, chile, lime and Tajín. They’re absolutely necessary during the summer. Plus, you can eat that Tama-Roca that comes with it, because that’s vegan too. PWAA P-P-PWAAAA!! (That’s a party horn sound)

8. Plantain Chips

CREDIT: Suraya Foods

Simple and sweet with a heavy crunch, plantain chips are a favorite snack for vegan Latinos. It’s probably why they’re also a staple of Cuban cuisine.

9. Ruffles in Tapatío Limón Flavor

CREDIT: PETA

Chips are the essential snack. Luckily, there are lots of them that are also vegan and will satiate your craving for that Latino spiciness. That includes Tapatío Limón flavored Ruffles. Yes! And if you’re not in the mood for these (which is weird because who’s ever not in the mood?), you can also go with Chile & Lime Sabritones, Lays Limón or Spicy Salsa Salsitas.

BRB gotta go stock up my snack cupboard!

READ: Latina Moms Try Vegan Food For The First Time

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These Reinvented Tostilocos Will Have You Thirsting Like No Other

Culture

These Reinvented Tostilocos Will Have You Thirsting Like No Other

@there_she_goz/Instagram

Those of us who love Tostilocos know the deliciously classic savory snack that’s a heavenly combination of Salsa Verde Tostitos tortilla chips, chamoy, hot sauce, Japanese-style peanuts, Chaca Chaca, jicama, cucumber and cueritos.

The original mix of salty and spicy flavors is absolute perfection.

Tostilocos ??with lemon straight from the tree ?

A post shared by Tropic Fruti (@tropicfruti) on

But as with anything good, someone’s always gonna drop a remix to try and make it better. And sometimes that remix just might be better than the original. It worked for J.Lo’s “I’m Real” or Craig Mack’s “Flava in Ya Ear,” if you want to take it way back.

In the quest to add more loco to the snack game, people have come up with some awesome Tostiloco remixes that are so mouthwatering they may just be better than the original.

But then there’s Dorilocos, which are the same as Tostilocos but with nacho cheese Doritos.

¿Antojo de una botana? Ven a #Pecadit0s por unos #dorilocos, con el sabor de Sinaloa pero en Hidalgo

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I guess the old snack adage is true: when in doubt, add nacho cheese Doritos to whatever you’re eating. That’s a thing people say, right?

Nacho flavor? Well, how about adding Takis to whatever you’re eating?

#takis #takisfuego #somexican #ladulcevidaneve #takislocos

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I can get behind that one.

Churritoslocos did the same thing, taking the tried and true Tostiloco ingredients but adding them to crunchy churritos.

CREDIT: Tere R./Yelp

I’m here for it.

Pepi-locos change things up by making the cucumber the main star of the show.

Also called Pepi-sushi, Pepi-locos take a hollowed out cucumber and fill it with all the stuff you’d find on Tostilocos. Some spots even plate the Pepi-locos on a bed of Tostitos. Next level and classy af.

Or you can say “f-ck it” and stuff it all into a pineapple.

Or really say “f-ck it” and drop it all into a watermelon.

It’s just so beautiful.

While those stuck to the basics and changed things up a bit, some Tostiloco remixes get a bit more wild.

Aguachilocos, anyone?

Aguachilocos wtf I fuck with it what's up indigestion dang

A post shared by alex ?arago?a (@there_she_goz) on

That’s a whole other level of flavor. Sea level, if you will.

You can also find a shrimp remix that’s hot fire.

#youknowyouwantone is the most accurate hashtag ever.

Cheetos Locos replace the Tostitos with Cheetos. You can choose from Flaming Hot or regular. Whatever your stomach desires.

#RaspadoLab #cheetosLocos

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Hot. Damn.

There really is no wrong way to remix Tostilocos, and these are really just the tip of the loco iceberg. Stay remixing those Tostilocos, fruterias!

READ: This Mexican Snack Shop In California Has Gotten So Popular, People Wait 2 Hours

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